30.08.2026 How I lost this summer.
It’s last days of summer 2026, the summer that I’ve been waiting for so much, and now, I have a feeling of hollowness inside, which comes from quite clear reasons. The way I treated those warm days(in Europe they were some special kind of “warm”) was an absolute disaster. Unfortunately, I needed to leave the company I was working for, which seemed like a reason to get upset. I however, knew that I have 1,5 month of time to dedicate to myself.
Did I? Absolutely not.
My brain got so used to work to its maximum, that instead of recovering and having fun, I dedicated my time to chasing half-transparent goals. Half-transparent, virtual, not real – basically goals that your mind is creating just to continue exploiting itself as it used to.
Have you ever had this feeling when you are done with something big with something you dedicated so much time and now you are free to do whatever? And while someone will just go with this feeling, someone will try to create new challenges even if those new challenges are not needed.
That’s exactly what I did, I start to come up with new challenges. But why?
I think you can give different answers to that, from different perspectives.
As a young lad of course my youtube recommendations are full of successful people telling their stories. Some of them are 22 some of them are 56, but the message is clear, you don’t have too much time on this planet so better to spend them properly. While this message is correct, there is small problem, human life is more complicated than work titles and zeros on your bank account. Sometimes this happiness is just spend time in the park with your girlfriend with a clear mind.
I think what I want to say is that don’t waste your next autumn, your next summer. Do not create additional challenges, life is complicated as it is. Give yourself space.
Music I listened, while writing this article: Boards of Canada - Music Is Math The Future Sound Of London - Dead Skin Cells Squarepusher - I wish I could talk Boards of Canada - In a beautiful place out in the country
01.08.2026 This is something I self-hosted for the first time, as a response to desperation and crisis in career. Many of us forgot the actual reason why so many of us decided to do the programming. Fun.